Author Topic: post a joke  (Read 15803 times)

KILLER

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post a joke
« on: January 20, 2014, 02:53:42 am »
What did the blonde say when someone blew in her ear?

Thanks for the refill. ;D :)
« Last Edit: January 20, 2014, 02:59:04 am by killer »

BraveFart

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Re: post a joke
« Reply #1 on: January 20, 2014, 11:30:17 pm »
A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun.  He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault.  Surprised, she says; "But sir, it's just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!" he replies.  So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples.  The guy says "take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him and says, "BUT, these are just sperm samples!".  "I don't care, just DO IT!".  So the nurse scared for her life sucks it back.  "That one there, drink that one as well", so the nurse drinks the next one as well.  Finally, after the nurse drinks 4 samples, the man takes off his ski mask and says, "see honey?  It's not that hard."

KILLER

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Re: post a joke
« Reply #2 on: January 20, 2014, 11:35:17 pm »
A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun.  He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault.  Surprised, she says; "But sir, it's just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!" he replies.  So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples.  The guy says "take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him and says, "BUT, these are just sperm samples!".  "I don't care, just DO IT!".  So the nurse scared for her life sucks it back.  "That one there, drink that one as well", so the nurse drinks the next one as well.  Finally, after the nurse drinks 4 samples, the man takes off his ski mask and says, "see honey?  It's not that hard."
lmao good one

MiKe KaMaKaZi

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Re: post a joke
« Reply #3 on: January 21, 2014, 07:43:31 am »
I'm on a whiskey diet... I've lost tree days already..." LOL wink wink Hyong!!

BraveFart

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Re: post a joke
« Reply #4 on: January 21, 2014, 04:58:19 pm »
LOL

MiKe KaMaKaZi

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Re: post a joke
« Reply #5 on: January 22, 2014, 02:26:55 am »
Gots to love the 1 liner lol!!

el toro

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Re: post a joke
« Reply #6 on: February 17, 2014, 05:59:23 pm »
What do you call a naked blond doing a handstand?

A brunette with bad breath.... :o
-If you ask me, I'm LOVING it.

BraveFart

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Re: post a joke
« Reply #7 on: February 17, 2014, 10:29:20 pm »
What do you call a naked blond doing a handstand?

A brunette with bad breath.... :o
two thumbs up on that one!!

el toro

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Re: post a joke
« Reply #8 on: February 18, 2014, 09:27:43 pm »
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."

Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
-If you ask me, I'm LOVING it.

el toro

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Re: post a joke
« Reply #9 on: February 18, 2014, 09:35:37 pm »
Looking to buy a frog?
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues.

After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, "If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the evening?" The bartender agrees, thinking that no trick could possibly be better than the first. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. The man reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog, who begins to sing along with the rat's music.

While the man is enjoying his beverages, a stranger confronts him and offers him $100,000.00 for the bullfrog. "Sorry," the man replies, "he's not for sale." The stranger increases the offer to $250,000.00 cash up front. "No," he insists, "he's not for sale." The stranger again increases the offer, this time to $500,000.00 cash. The man finally agrees, and turns the frog over to the stranger in exchange for the money.

"Are you insane?" the bartender demanded. "That frog could have been worth millions to you, and you let him go for a mere $500,000!" "Don't worry about it." the man answered. "The frog was really nothing special. You see, the rat's a ventriloquist."
-If you ask me, I'm LOVING it.

el toro

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Re: post a joke
« Reply #10 on: February 18, 2014, 09:40:17 pm »
The customs of an Irishman
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender asks him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time." The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: ordering three pints and drinking them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss." The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eye and he laughs. "Oh, no," he says, "Everyone's fine. I've just quit drinking."
-If you ask me, I'm LOVING it.

BraveFart

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Re: post a joke
« Reply #11 on: February 18, 2014, 10:19:26 pm »
el toro, you have some pretty darn funny jokes!  Keep them coming!

KILLER

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Re: post a joke
« Reply #12 on: February 18, 2014, 10:31:44 pm »
A woman and her little boy were walking through a park in New York and they pass two squirrels having sex. The little boy asks his mom, "Mommy, mommy, what are they doing?" The lady responded, "They're making a sandwich." Then they pass two dogs having sex and the little boy again asks what they were doing. His mother again replied they were making a sandwich. A couple of days later the little boy walks in on his mother and father and said "Mommy, Daddy, you must be making a sandwich because, Mommy has mayonnaise all over her mouth!!

KILLER

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Re: post a joke
« Reply #13 on: February 18, 2014, 10:35:20 pm »
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."

Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
good one lol

el toro

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Re: post a joke
« Reply #14 on: February 19, 2014, 12:51:56 am »
A guy walks into a bar with an alligator. It's about 10 feet long. The bartender flips out and says, "Hey buddy, you gotta get that son of a bitch outta here. It's going to bite one of my customers and I'm going to get sued."

The guy says, "No no no, it's a tame alligator. I'll prove it to you."

He picks up the alligator and puts it on the bar. Then he unzips his pants, pulls out his package and sticks it in the alligator's mouth. The alligator just keeps his mouth open. After about 5 minutes, he pulls it out of the alligator's mouth and zips up his pants and says, "See, I told you it was a tame alligator. Anybody else want to try it?"

The drunk down at the end of the bar says, "Yeah, I'd like to try it but I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long!"
-If you ask me, I'm LOVING it.